QUESTION:

I am an American Muslim and my husband is from Sudan. I am trying to be a good wife to him. But he’s used to the women of his country. I try to approach other Muslim women for advice. But they do not really accept me as a Muslim because I am an American. I need advise what to do.

ANSWER:

You have been so brief and telegraphic in your message, that we find it hard to understand the true nature of your problem. However, we gather that:

• Your husband does not feel the importance of getting adapted (unless something is unlawful) to new environment, which he must, to establish a working, good and loving relationship with you.

• Other sisters in the community do not come forward to help. If the reason is only that you as American are not being accepted as Muslima, it is really unfortunate and scornful. We can’t believe, because, as a tradition, a convert Muslim or a stranger is received with great affection in any Muslim community. That is what makes this all Muslims an Ummah. And it is scornful because those ladies are so careless about a fundamental aspect of Islāmic fraternity and their primary obligation.

Please continue trying to win over your husband, see if you can also accommodate some of his demands (if legitimate and reasonable, of course) and forgiving the sisters for their past behaviour, look for ways to patch up and create links that will bring them closer. This test of patience on two fronts -home and outside - will sure bring great rewards for you, both here and in the Hereafter.